He Hates These Berets! Stay Away From The Berets!

Wow. Talk about discipline. The guy who got his beret shot-off that is. He doesn’t lose a beat despite no doubt losing a few hairs on his head. And those around him. They all barely move. Amazing.

Then again I’ve been around two accidental discharges in my career and when the round went off mostly I just sat there in shock and awe for a second, and then turned in the direction of the boom. One was a guy standing behind me and over a bit at a cleaning table. The sound of his .45 echoed throughout the room as we all turned to stare at him, grateful no one was hurt. The second one was at the outdoor range – also during cleaning – but the guy was off by himself while the rest of us were receiving baton training about 150 feet away. He was with another agency – firing with us as a guest – and once we were sure he hadn’t shot himself or anyone else, we all did our best to look in the other direction not wanting to be witnesses in what would no-doubt be an investigation by his agency.

He didn’t get invited back though.

I’ve been lucky otherwise. Although there were two foreign officers from Nigeria I shot with back in the late 1980s that gave me a scare. They didn’t have an accidental discharge. Because we didn’t let them. Them showing up at the range barefoot and trying to slide the rounds in backwards (both true I swear), was enough for our firearms instructors to pull them aside for some special attention.

Oh, the commenters at Say Uncle note that they are probably firing blanks. Could be – probably are, although their not reacting is incredible either way. And I have to say that I’m not fond of any formation where you’re pointing the weapon at the back of the head of the guy standing in front of you while locking and loading.

Just not prudent if you know what I mean.

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Dear Woman: How About A Date?

I hate to break it to these guys, but I’ve had a “growing sense of worship” for the “gifts of the feminine” since I read my first Playboy.

And grow it did.

Okay, past that I got nothing. This film is creepy on a number of levels. First, the speakers all sound like the serial killers you see in those scary movies. You know, with that slow, hypnotic lyrical voice that lulls a gal to sleep more slowly than a ruffie but without the morning-after headache.

“Hello, Clarice.”

Secondly, it’s an insult to the 95% of women who love men for what they are, which is men. Manly men. But with a sensitive side. Men who don’t mind washing a dish now and again, always notice when they’ve had their hair done, and never comment on how much their butts have grown over the years. The other five percent? Lesbians and women who love inanimate objects. Not just enjoy now and again like normal women, but actually fall in love.

Third, these guys somehow think I’ve given them permission to apologize for my being a man. I didn’t. I have nothing to apologize for. Okay, okay, maybe I should apologize for trying to feel-up my old girlfriend in high school, but it’s not like she complained and it’s been a long, long time and I’m sure she’s forgotten.

Anyway, I can’t imagine any woman being impressed with what is the obvious pick-up line that is this video. Granted, I’ve been out of the dating scene for 29 some-odd years but I really don’t see, “Hey babe, how would you like to co-create something amazing” as being any more successful than “Hi, will you help me find my lost puppy? I think he went into this cheap motel room across the street.”

And that “How’s it going, babe” vibe is maybe the most creepy thing about the video. The way it repeatedly slips in sexual innuendo with apologies for war, violence against women, religious persecution, and assaults on the family is so icky I felt like I needed a shower after watching it.

Don’t believe me?  Here’s one jewel out of many spewed forth by the guys in this video.

“I honor your capacity to listen to your body and it’s needs for food, rest and playtime.”

Get that? Playtime, baby. It’s on the way. Inserted deliciously between apologies for misogyny, pornography, and commercialization of beauty.

Foreplay with a purpose.

And how nice of them to help take their minds off of all the “man-caused” evil in the world by allowing them to focus on what’s needed –  a nice slice of double-fudge chocolate cake, a nap, and a slap and tickle afterward.

Not exactly subtle. Nor original. Men have been using important issues like world hunger, war, global warming, and women’s rights to get laid since the 1960s.  Before that it was “I’m being shipped-out to tomorrow and I might not make it back” which was used to great success by millions of men in WWII I’m told.

Most women knew it was a line. And still do. Which is one reason I don’t believe they need apologizing to. Women are smart. Tough. They can take care of themselves. Apologizing to them in this way – for these things –  plays them off as weak fools who simply cannot handle the world around them. Including the men around them.

And they can.

It’s one of their “gifts of the feminine.”

What’s not to worship?

The Recycling Ninja

If ever I’m attacked by plastic bottles containing water, this is the guy I want with me.

Something For Hump Day

And if that wasn’t enough then try this . . .

Male Union Goon Compensates For Being Nurse, err, Having Small Penis (UPDATED)

UPDATE: Post changed a bit to reflect that just one guy is doing the hitting.  The rest of them are just surrounding the cameramen, no doubt in an attempt to show them some male nurse lovin’.

This video of a union goon attacking people  for, well videoing, one of their rallies is making the rounds as it should, but aside from the Socialist tactics of intimidation being used by him and the rest of these girlie-men in pink shirts (compensating no doubt), the comment that struck me was this one.

“You’re filming female nurses without permission.”

Filming female nurses is illegal? In a public place? In broad daylight? You need permission for this? I think not.

And even if it were, which it is not, it’s something that will get you physically attacked by some pink-shirted, smiling like his mother’s dropped him on his head goober?

Crap, it’s not like the female nurses were taking a shower at the time.

Wait a second . . . hmmmm . . . .

Oops, sorry, got off track there for a moment.

No, this was perfectly legal. On public property. No right nor expectation to privacy here.

So to hell with those assholes.

He needs to be paid back big time. And by paid back I mean charged with a crime, arrested, tried and convicted, and then forced to wear pink in jail. Frilly pink that will make him very popular with the other inmates.

That’s what I’m talking about.

Anyway, since this whole incident upset me so much, and no doubt upset you, I thought I would leave all of us with something a little more pleasant to think about.

This, my friends, is what a nurse is supposed to look like. Or at least a reasonable facsimile thereof. Not some stupid (really, hitting someone who is taking pictures of you is just moronic) old guy with a paunch, a mammoth inferiority complex and a bad attitude.

UPDATE TWO:

The guy doing the hitting is identified?

Twilight For Guys!

NSFW, people who don’t enjoy lesbians, and way-to-serious Twilight fans.

Via Dave and Thomas.

I’m Not Jewish

So I have no clue as to whether it’s politically incorrect or in bad taste that I find this video of an Auschwitz survivor and his grandchildren “dancing on Hitler’s face” touching and uplifting and even a little amusing (come on, the old guy getting-down has to make you smile).

But I do.

Personal note, I visited Dachau many years ago and thinking back on it now a better place for a celebratory dance of survival to mock Hitler and his Nazi criminals does not exist. Except for Auschwitz, Sobibor, Treblinka, and the rest.

UPDATE:

I guess the company that owned the song made them take the video down.  Assholes.


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