Mission Accomplished


It’s been a tough month hiding out from my blogging nemesis mildly amusing opponent* and her horde of killer fembots masquerading as housewives, but fortunately for me her sights are firmly set on Rufus T. Firefly, no doubt because of the old wives’ tale about the size of a man’s eyebrows equaling the size of his tweezer, so I have more freedom to conduct the guerrilla warfare needed to fight such a well-equipped opponents.

And it was on one of my stealthy reconnaissance missions into Omaha that I stumbled upon, amongst the crushed beer cans and well-worn issues of Playgirl, this prize, which is an actual copy of the postcard June sent to Santa this year.

Notice how June, an obviously talented and intelligent woman – for a blonde anyway – uses her feminine wiles to sweet-talk Santa into delivering to her her two main vices. Men in tight swimsuits and beer in aluminum cans.

It’s almost Karl Rove-ish in its magnificent, manipulative simplicity.

She is truly an worthy opponent.


*You simply cannot please a woman. “Curvy” is an insult. “Nemesis” is too strong. The toilet seat always has to be down. It never ends.



  1. I never thought of you as a nemesis… just a mildly amusing opponent. I respect the red-blooded, I just can’t help myself but look at women, characteristics that you hold… arrogance is a trait that I actually welcome in a man. But do you really want to start a fight with me? You know I won’t be able to fight as dirty as you, but that does not mean that I won’t win.

    In the words of a cheer that I used to yell at the opposing team when we were winning… back in high school when I was a cheerleader with my hair in a ponytail and a fresh smile on my face… LOOK AT THE SCORE! LOOK AT THE SCORE!!

  2. June,

    I meant nemesis in the most loving way possible. As in my mildly amusing nemesis. And I am not trying to start a fight with you unless it is like some brother-sister pillow-fight kind of thing. I can’t see how you can’t fight as dirty as me though. (Was this dirty? I thought it was funny.) In fact I was looking forward to it. But if you don’t have the heart for it, I totally understand. I know women prefer softer, gentler pursuits.

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