I Am Infected


Well, my computer is anyway. My youngest son, a new 13 year old, was surfing the web and decided to visit some not-so-nice websites which naturally left more germs on my computer than a night at a brothel in Nevada. This despite my having more virus and malware protection than Howie Mandel has anti-biotic gel on his hands during a filming of Deal or No Deal. I really don’t think there was anything else I could do to protect my computer except put a big plastic sheet over the computer and modem (that’s a prophylactic joke, folks) . So now I am having to do an online screen of the computer via the Microsoft Website and hoping that clears it up.

I actually feel sorry for my son. He wasn’t doing anything that I didn’t do when I was that age. It’s just that you couldn’t catch anything from reading Playboy and unless your mom was flipping the mattress in your room the chances of anyone finding out were pretty small. Now there are cookies that track your every move and viruses that pop-up which alerts everyone in the house that someone was looking at something they shouldn’t have been looking at. (My son actually asked why they called them cookies when I was giving him his lecture – that boy might be a perv like his Dad, but he is an intellectual perv.)

So he was suitably embarrassed and apologetic and hopefully learned an important lesson. The lesson being get someone older to buy you a Playboy and stick it under the mattress.


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