Rambling

Loving wife and I went to see Leatherheads yesterday. It kinda sucked. Not major suckage, but definitely suckage. It’s an HBO kind of movie.

After the movie we went to Macaroni Grill for dinner. The food was great, but the drinks - margaritas - sucked. We noticed this a few months ago when we went there so it must be a training thing instead of just one bad bartender. Next time we go it will be beer for me and wine for her.

Does that ever happen to you? You know, you go to a place and either the food sucks or the drinks or the service or something and you swear you won’t ever go there again but then time goes by and you end up back there remembering your pledge as you suffer through the same thing again? It happens to me quite a bit. One of the hazards of a poor memory I guess.

Anyway, there was a lot of suckage last night.

The bad kind.

Quit thinking dirty thoughts.

Sheesh.

And when you go out do you worry about violence? I rarely do. Maybe it’s because I am armed most of the time, but our city is pretty peaceful and I just don’t think about it. Well, it seems foreigners think we are peaceful too. America that is. At least more peaceful than Britain, anyway. Makes sense to me, although it may be because of more than our guns; it may be because we are just nicer and not as drunk. Or maybe just nicer drunks.

Oh yes, back to the movies. They previewed the upcoming Sex and the City movie and loving wife wants to go see it. Not with me thank goodness, because I am pretty sure it is going to suck (again there’s that suckage). Full disclosure here and with the risk of casting doubt on my manliness, I have seen every episode of the series. Don’t give me that look, it was like a soap opera - you see one or two and you get hooked. I just think too much time has passed, both in terms of the ages of these women and in terms of the trendiness of their lives, for the movie to be worth a damn. It will be a cliche. Anyway, That’s What She Blogged talks about some of her favorite Sex and the City episodes in anticipation of the new movie. I hope she won’t be disappointed.

I know this is jumping from subject to subject, but my sons are done with college for the summer, so this is appropriate. It’s how I remember college anyway.

Yohzaa!

I mentioned John Adams in an earlier post. Fantastic book. Remarkable, no great, man. Arguably the greatest of men of that time. Read the book.

Obama Pastorale 2 by Mr. Goodbar.

Traditional American Values

Wow, this is great news.

WASHINGTON, March 30 (UPI) — Young Americans have a reverence for national institutions, traditions and family values, a U.S. survey indicates.

A survey of so-called “millennials” — those between 21 and 29 — revealed the group overwhelmingly said they support monogamy, marriage, the U.S. Constitution and the military, The Washington Times reported Sunday.

“We were completely surprised. There has been a faulty portrayal of millennials by the media — television, films, news, blogs, everything. These people are not the self-entitled, coddled slackers they’re made out to be. Misnomers and myths about them are all over the place,” said Ann Mack, who directed the survey and is the official “director of trend-spotting” at J. Walter Thompson, the nation’s largest advertising agency.

In addition to indicating 94 percent of millennials respect monogamy and parenthood and 84 percent revere marriage, the survey found 88 percent said they respect the U.S. Constitution, 84 percent respect the military and more than three-quarters believe in the “American dream.”

The survey of 1,250 adults was conducted online throughout January. No margin of error was reported.

No wonder anti-American, anti-military movies have done so poorly lately. The media, which includes Hollywood, is absolutely clueless about its audience.

Or doesn’t care. Even the article at the link in the preceding paragraph shows Hollywood trying to explain away the bad box office on anything but the fact that people do now want to see our military played as evil or incompetent or both.   They want to see them as winners, which, by the way, is what they are. 

So whatever the reason - willful ignorance, plain stupidity, or leftist agenda - Hollywood keeps making these losers and losing money in return.

Serves them right.

Hot Links

1. The racist, anti-semitic, anti-Italian, anti-American Reverend Wright, long-time mentor of Barack Hussein Obama, makes an appearance at a Chicago Catholic church and is welcomed with open arms. Video here.

Is the Catholic Church TRYING to make me leave in disgust? Granted I am not the best Catholic in the world, but I am sure there are plenty who are better than me who are also disgusted by this. Is this some Chicago thing? Because I just don’t get it.

2. Medals matter. More than ever when compared to Obama and Hillary.

3. The 10 Most Prophetic Science Fiction Movies Ever.

4.  Speaking of movies, the newest anti-Iraq war, anti-military, anti-American film, Stop-Loss, is bombing at the box office just like all the others before it. Of course, Hollywood thinks it is because the American people aren’t ready to watch a war movie while the war is going on - I guess all those successful WWII movies made during WWII were just accidents - but the fact is that the American people just don’t want to see movies where Americans are the bad guys and the military is incompetent and/or evil. They are smarter than Hollywood - they know lies when they see them.  Vietnam is over, guys, deal with it.

4. Considering most guys think of a lower-back tattoo on a woman as a target, this seems like a bad idea.

5.  The classic movie The Day The Earth Stood Still  is now about global warming?  Plus it starts Keanu Reeves?  Can you say box office bomb? I knew you could.

UPDATE:

Here’s a brutal review of Stop-Loss. Evidently it is just a badly made movie all the way around.

Roman Versus Spartan

Ever wonder who would win in a battle - the Roman Legions or Spartan Warriors?   Well, if you are like me and keep flipping back and forth between 300 and Gladiator on the movie channels, you just might be wondering, too.

Well, wonder no more.

Juicy Links

1) Is Barack Obama the Messiah? Not much to say except that if a Republican had this type of religious glow about him the left would be calling him the Anti-Christ.  Wait, you don’t think?  Nawwwww.

2)  The 1943 Guide To Hiring Women. No comment.

3)  Well, this is disappointing. I liked Bob. I wanted to be Bob. Bob looks so happy.  And more importantly, Bob’s women look happy.  I am gonna miss Bob.

4) I mentioned in an earlier post that Obama used to hang with terrorists, but now it appears they remain friends. I wonder if the New York Times will give the same level of attention to this story as they did to the non-story about McCain?

5) Starbucks coffee really is getting expensive these days. Very bitter, too. I’ll never understand the line of cars at their drive-thru I see every morning on the way to work. Lemmings.

6)  Saudi men arrested for flirting with women in public. Surprising since a gal in a Burka doesn’t really bring out the flirt in me. But then again I guess that is the stated purpose of those things, isn’t it. I wonder though, if they bring Sharia law to the USA, will they make them in pink with shiny appliques that read “Sweet Thang” on the ass?

7) Are you watching the Oscars tonight?  Not me.  I haven’t see any of the films nominated for Best Picture and only two or three of the films nominated for “lesser” awards like Sound Editing and Visual Effects. They make these movies for themselves not the movie-going public which explains why there are fewer and fewer of us.

8)  Here’s a link to pictures of one of my favorite brunettes, Mimi Rogers, naked.  Seriously, she is nude, so don’t go there if that bugs you.

9)  Beautiful actresses morphing into other beautiful actresses. It is no doubt just me but I think the earlier ones are much more beautiful than the ones we have now.

Forget About Swooning, Play That Clip of Phoebe Again

The cute blonde over at That’s What She Blogged is gushing about a dozen movies that make her swoon for Valentine’s Day, so I thought I would respond with some movies that would make me, well, not swoon, but certainly put me in a good mood.

1) Full Body Massage. The nude voluptuous body of brunette Mimi Rogers being massaged with oil for the better part of 93 minutes.  Is there any better cinema in the world?  Tom Cruise’s first sign of insanity was breaking up with her.

2) The Incredibles. Holly Hunter as Elastigirl. Imagine the possiblities.

3) Almost any porn movie.  No plot. Bad acting.  Just lots of naked women.

4) Secretary.  A weird movie, but incredibly erotic performances from Maggie Gyllenhaal and James Spader. Who woulda thought?

5) Fast Times At Ridgemont High. Phoebe Cates walking out of that pool and taking off her bikini top is a vision burned in my mind forever. Even after 26 years it still gives hope to adolescent boys (and their dads) everywhere.

6)  Any of the guy movies listed here. Granted most of them have no love story at all, and little sex, but if you want to win a guy’s heart pop one of these in the DVD player, sit next to him in some Victoria’s Secret, and hand him a beer. He’ll be yours in anywhere from 90 minutes to 2 hours. Unless it’s The Godfather trilogy.  Then it might be quite a while before he “goes to the mattresses.”  In which case you should probably do a crossword or something to keep you busy between beer and chip runs.

It’s Good To Be The King

I’m in Atlanta.  In my hotel room.  Bored and just sort of vegging out with the TV and the Internet.  I just ordered a pizza from Papa John’s since I am in an area of town I don’t know well and I don’t feel like eating another burger from a fast food place or go eat at sit-down place by myself.  I won’t eat it all, but I have a fridge and microwave in the room so maybe it will be tomorrow night’s dinner as well. 

The drive down was uneventful, but busier than I have seen it in a long time.  I hate driving on the Interstate.  And it is all because of 18-wheel trucks.  What should be enjoyable driving on decent four-lane wide open roads is always painful because of too many overweight and poorly maintained trucks.

I hate truckers.

Oh yes, I know some of you might be truckers.  Or you might be married to a trucker.  Or a trucker is your dad or brother or sister or cousin, but none of that changes the fact that I hate them.  They may be great dads, brothers, husbands, wives, cousins, and so on, but as truckers they suck.

They make driving worse than visiting the dentist.

For gum surgery.

And yeah, I know they keep America moving and supplied with disposable diapers, Wonder Bras, and plastic sporks, but frankly I don’t give a rat’s tush.

I say bring back the railroads.  Build new ones. Improve the old ones.  And hire all those out of work long-haul truckers as brakemen or conductors or file clerks.  Anything but truckers.

And you aren’t going to change my mind about it either.  I don’t care if they keep America in canned goods.  I don’t care if they are good people outside of those trucks.

THEY MAKE MY DAMN DRIVE MISERABLE BECAUSE THEY:

-  Drive too fast when they should be going slower.  What maniac drives an 18-wheel truck 85 miles per hour in the pouring rain? 

- They drive too slow when they don’t need to.  And always . . . always . . . in the left lane.  Up a fricken hill.  While passing another truck that is going 1/2 mile an hour slower than they are so it takes several miles for them to do so. 

-  When you are passing them on the left side they suddenly veer out in the left lane to pass someone in front of them and force you to slam on your brakes.  Then they take ten minutes to pass that person while you sit in the coffee that splashed all over you and your seat.

- The drive in the left lane for miles and miles trying to “pass” someone in the right lane, when in fact they aren’t even near them.  So cars sit behind them thinking they can’t pass because there must be a long line of traffic when, in fact, there is nothing but this one moronic trucker blocking the lane and giggling at the little joke he is playing.

-  Their crappy used tires litter the road and cause all sorts of dangerous swerving and damage to cars.

Anyway, that is why I hate them.  And if you ask me how much I hate them I will say, “With the intensity of the sun” or something like that.

Just ask loving wife.  She knows.  She rides with me sometimes. 

Now don’t try to change my mind.  Don’t comment and give me all the reasons they are good people and why we need them.

I don’t care.

If I were King they would be gone. 

Oh, and all women would have big hooters and wear low-cut tops and I would get to squeeze and kiss them like Mel Brooks in The History of the World Part 1.

Because I hear that it’s good to be the King.

Cloverfield Shakes You Up

I just returned from seeing Cloverfield with my two oldest sons - 22 and 18 years old respectively - and I would give it maybe two and a half stars (out of four).   I might have given it three or even three and a half had it not been for the shaky camerawork that gave me a sick headache like you get from riding the spinning teacup ride.  

My sons liked it despite the rollercoaster feel, saying that it only added to the realism of the movie - something I didn’t think needed adding too since it is about a Godzilla-type monster attacking New York City.  It’s science fiction for heaven’s sake.

Plus, the shaky-cam didn’t bother them as much which I think is an age thing - the older you get the less you like spinning like a top. 

As to the story - it’s good - but not great because it leaves a little too much out since it is told from such a limited point of view.   Of course, that’s what they were going for, but I have to say it just leaves me wanting a bit.   I just like things wrapped up neatly I guess.

My final verdict?  Not a mammoth waste of time and decent Coke and popcorn fare.  Assuming you can keep it down.

There Are Some Good Celebs

Oh a quick post before I go.  Johnny Depp is one of my favorite actors.  Extremely talented. In fact, I think he may be one of the best actors working today.  And now I find out he is also a really nice guy.

Johnny Depp secretly visited Great Ormond Street Hospital yesterday to donate £1 million of his own money to thank staff for saving his daughter’s life.

He arrived unexpectedly at the London children’s hospital where eight-year-old Lily-Rose was treated last year when her kidneys failed.

Last week he invited five Great Ormond Street doctors and nurses to the party for the London premiere of his film Sweeney Todd.

And on November 29, unknown to the public, Depp spent four hours at the hospital telling bedtime stories to patients dressed as Captain Jack Sparrow after having his Pirates Of The Caribbean costume flown over from Los Angeles.

While donating the money is fantastic, and inviting the doctors and nurses over to a party is great, I swear his reading stories to sick kids while in character as Jack Sparrow is just about the coolest thing I have ever heard.

Hat-tip to Blowing Smoke.

Revenge Served Up In A Pie

My middle son and I went to see Sweeney Todd yesterday. It’s definitely an award-winning film, with solid acting, wonderful music and lyrics, great costumes, fantastic cinematography, and a story that is both fascinating and repulsive at the same time. Johnny Depp is perhaps my favorite actor and he gives one of his best performances which, like the movie, is both fascinating and repulsive, and which surely will win him an Oscar. The rest of the cast - Helena Bonham Carter, Alan Rickman, Timothy Spall, Sacha Baron Cohen, Laura Michelle Kelly and Peter Bowles are all excellent as well and Tim Burton has outdone himself with his direction of this talented crew.

As excellent as it is though, you don’t really leave the theater with that excited “I just saw a great movie” kind of feeling. I didn’t anyway, and from the almost total silence of the crowd as we left I don’t think many other people did either. Again, it’s not that the movie isn’t good. It’s better than good. It’s just that the subject is so unsettling you can’t really figure out how you should feel so you just feel empty as you walk out.

It’s almost like being in shock I think.

Anyway, go see it, but be prepared for more blood and gore than the worst of the “B” slasher movies, and if you are a man be very happy they invented the safety razor.

Americans Want To See Winners

I ordered Call of Duty 4 - Modern Warfare as a Christmas present for me from loving wife and it looks like I am not alone. Like all the CoD games I am sure it will rock. And as Glenn Reynolds points out in an e-mail from one of his readers, Hollywood should pay more attention to what people want.

:”Armed with an arsenal of advanced and powerful modern-day firepower, players are transported to treacherous hotspots around the globe to take on a rogue enemy group threatening the world. As both a U.S. Marine and British S.A.S. soldier fighting through an unfolding story full of twists and turns, players use sophisticated technology, superior firepower, and coordinated land and air strikes on a battlefield where speed, accuracy, and communication are essential to victory.

“So, if as Hollywood whines that the public doesn’t want Iraqi War movies, why is this selling so well, top of the rental lists, and ever so popular? At this rate it’ll be the successful game companies, that gives the pubic what they want, who’ll buy out the studios for their IP and name. Hollywood appears to have missed the impact of the technological shift as badly as MSM has. The public is getting the entertainment they crave, just not in the form that the old gatekeepers dispense.

It’s not brain surgery. Americans want movies where our military is shown the way it is - competent, honorable, professional, moral, and deadly as hell - not the way Hollywood sees it - immoral, corrupt, incompetent, and, oh hell, let’s face it, evil.

One hundred and fifty million is more than all the anti-military movies have made so far this year. Many times more actually. You would think Hollywood would get the message.

Narnia Wins

It really doesn’t matter if The Golden Compass is Anti-Christian or not (I believe it is), because this new trailer for The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian, rocks in a way The Golden Compass doesn’t.

Narnia is just a better story, full of hope and adventure and, yes, a moral theme which both kids and parents love.

Plus, the movie just looks better.  The Golden Compass may (I say may - I don’t think it will - my 12 year old son has barely mentioned it and he loves this stuff) do well at the box office during this Christmas holiday season, as ironic as that is and despite crappy reviews, because it is the only fantasy adventure film aimed at kids now, but Narnia is the better story and the better movie I believe.

C.S. Lewis - 1   Philip Pullman - 0

Forever

There is a children’s book titled Holes and a movie by the same name. In the movie version a character named Madam Zeroni and played by Eartha Kitt makes the statement, “You and your family will be cursed for always and eternity.”

Now when she says it, it sounds like “for always and eteRRRnityyyy.”  Very Ertha Kittish-like and very much stuck in my head.

And for some reason I always seem to remember it as “forever and eteRRRnityyyy” instead of “always and eteRRRnityyyy” so that whenever anyone says “forever” I mentally finish the sentence with “and eteRRRnityyyy.”

I even do it out loud with my family and it drives them a tad crazy, although loving wife and my youngest boy will join in with me sometimes.

Also, there is another great little movie, The Sandlot, in which a kid says, “foreevvverrrrr” in a long drawn-out way with a funny face.

I also think of that whenever I hear someone say forever.

They both make me laugh.

Yeah, I know this post is totally about nothing.  Eh.

The Mist

Middle son and I went to see The Mist today and it is great.  Scary and disturbing as all get out, but great.  The actors are fantastic, the story riveting, and the ending not at all what you expect. Well, I guessed it but only a few seconds before it happened so I don’t think that counts.

I know Stephen King’s books rarely translate well to film, but this is the exception.  Go see it, but prepare to be unnerved.

Beowulf

I went to see Beowulf today. Fan-fricken-tastic. Violence, sex, humor, great acting, great CGI work. Some are dissing it, saying that 300 was better, but they are full of crap. I saw 300 and despite the great look of that film, Beowulf is much more entertaining.

Definately not for kids under 15 in my humble opinion.