This Is Creepy

GET MORE AT ManBabies.com!

But she’s got a nice rack.

Hat-tip to Groovy.

And We All Came Together And Said, “F#*k It, McCain!”

Hat-tip to Demure Thoughts.

Oh and here is some more good stuff at Scrappleface. Read and laugh.

No One As Irish As Barry O’Bama

Eh, maybe one of those 57 states was Ireland?

Bush’s Resignation Speech

“Normally, I start these things out by saying “My Fellow Americans”, not doing it this time. If the polls are any indication, I don’t know who more than half of you are anymore. I do know something terrible has happened, and that you’re really not fellow Americans any longer.

I’ll cut right to the chase here: I quit. Now before anyone gets all in lather about me quitting to avoid impeachment, or to avoid prosecution, let me assure you: There’s been no breaking of laws or impeachable offenses in this office.

The reason I’m quitting is simple. I’m fed up with you people. I’m fed up because you have no understanding of what’s really going on in the world. Or of what’s going on in this once-great nation of ours. And the majority of you are too damned lazy to do your homework and figure it out.

Let’s start local. You’ve been sold a bill of goods by politicians and the news media. Polls show that the majority of you think the economy is in the tank. And that’s despite record numbers of homeowners, including record numbers of MINORITY homeowners. And while we’re mentioning minorities, I’ll point out that minority business ownership is at an all-time high. Our unemployment rate is as low as it ever was during the Clinton administration. I’ve mentioned all those things before, but it doesn’t sink in.

Despite the shock to our economy of 9/11, the stock market has rebounded to record levels and more Americans than ever are participating in these markets. Meanwhile, all you can do is whine about gas prices, and most of you are too damn stupid to realize that gas prices are high because there’s increased demand in other parts of the world, and because a small handful of noisy idiots are more worried about polar bears and beachfront property than your economic security. We face real threats in the world.

Don’t give me this “blood for oil” crap. If I were trading blood for oil I would’ve already seized Iraq ’s oil fields and let the rest of the country go to hell. And don’t give me this ‘Bush Lied; People Died’ crap either. If I were the liar you morons take me for, I could’ve easily had chemical weapons planted in Iraq so they could be ‘discovered.’ Instead, I owned up to the fact that the intelligence was faulty.

Let me remind you that the rest of the world thought Saddam had the goods, same as me. Let me also remind you that regime change in Iraq was official US policy before I came into office. Clinton established that policy. Bet you didn’t know that, did you?

You idiots need to understand that we face a unique enemy. Back during the cold war, there were two major competing political and economic models squaring off. We won that war, but we did so because fundamentally, the Communists wanted to survive, just as we do. We were simply able to out spend and out-tech them.

That’s not the case this time. The soldiers of our new enemy don’t care if they survive. In fact, they want to die. That’d be fine, as long as they weren’t also committed to taking as many of you with them as they can. But they are. They want to kill you, and the bastards are all over the globe. You should be grateful that they haven’t gotten any more of us here in the United States since September 11. But you’re not. That’s because you’ve got no idea how hard a small number of intelligence, military, law enforcement, and homeland security people have worked to make sure of that. When this whole mess started, I warned you that this would be a long and difficult fight. I’m disappointed how many of you people think a long and difficult fight amounts to a single season of ‘Survivor.’

Instead, you’ve grown impatient. You’re incapable of seeing things through the long lens of history, the way our enemies do. You think that wars should last a few months, a few years, tops.

Making matters worse, you actively support those who help the enemy. Every time you buy the New York Times, every time you send a donation to a cut-and-run Democrat’s political campaign, well, you might just as well FedEx a grenade launcher to a Jihadist. It amounts to the same thing.

In this day and age, it’s easy enough to find the truth. It’s all over the Internet; it just isn’t on the pages of the New York Times or on NBC News. But even if it were, I doubt you’d be any smarter. Most of you would rather watch American Idol.

I could say more about your expectations that the government will always be there to bail you out, even if you’re too stupid to leave a city that’s below sea level and has a Cat 5 hurricane approaching.

I could say more about your idiotic belief that government, not your own wallet, is where the money comes from. But I’ve come to the conclusion that were I to do so, it would sail right over your heads.

So, I quit. I’m going back to Crawford. I’ve got an energy-efficient house down there (Al Gore could only dream of) and the capability to be fully self-sufficient. No one ever heard of Crawford before I got elected, and as soon as I’m done here pretty much no one will ever hear of it again. Maybe I’ll be lucky enough to die of old age before the last pillars of America fall.

Oh, and by the way, Cheney’s quitting too.

That means Pelosi is your new President. You asked for it - you can have her. Watch what she does carefully, because I still have a glimmer of hope that there are just enough of you remaining who are smart enough to turn this thing around in 2008.

So that’s it.

God bless what’s left of America . Some of you know what I mean. The rest of you - kiss my ass!”

Stolen in full from Blonde Sagacity because it just reads better this way than linking half of it. Check her blog out though as she and her co-bloggers do good work.

One Day

One day,
long, long ago…….

there lived a woman who did not whine, nag or
bitch.

But this was a long time ago…….

and it was just
that one day.

The End

Hat-tip to my friend Chuck.

That’s What She Said

Over and over again.

Come On, You Know This Is Funny

Mad TV - Obama And Hillary

Very racy, but funny.

Found it at The Global Times.

 

Overkill

This is a tragic . . . waste of resources. There are easier and more cost effective ways to kill a cat.

EFFERSON TOWNSHIP, N.J. — A piece of artillery that was apparently misfired by the military crashed through the roof of a home miles away Friday and injured a young girl’s cat, which had to be euthanized, officials said.

No people were injured when the 2-pound piece hit the Jefferson Township home about 2 1/2 miles from the Picatinny Arsenal and landed in the girl’s bed, said Peter Rowland, arsenal spokesman. She wasn’t home, but her cat was sleeping on the bed.

The homeowner told authorities she heard a loud noise around 2:40 p.m. and found the 6-by-4-inch object.

Picatinny officials told The Star-Ledger of Newark they were investigating. The base had been conducting tests Friday, and it wasn’t immediately clear what type of artillery hit the home.

Picatinny is the site of the Armament Research, Development and Engineering Center, whose mission is to conduct research, development and engineering for weapons systems.

Seriously, I’m glad no people were hurt. And I am sure the little girl is going to miss her kitty. It was just too easy a dead cat joke to pass up.

Linkage

1. The state of the US economy, like many things, is relative. In this case relative to whichever party is holding the presidency at the time (1996 versus 200 .

2. The good Reverend Wright, Obama’s spiritual advisor for 20 years, was originally a Muslim?

After many lectures like this, Obama decided to take a second look at Wright’s church. Older pastors warned him that Trinity was for “Buppies”–black urban professionals–and didn’t have enough street cred. But Wright was a former Muslim and black nationalist who had studied at Howard and Chicago, and Trinity’s guiding principles–what the church calls the “Black Value System”–included a “Disavowal of the Pursuit of ‘Middleclassness.’”

Not that there’s anything wrong with being a Muslim. The racist “black nationalist” thing kinda bugs me though. Just another one of those things that is going to make it hard for him in the general election.

3. I found this site called Mom Logic which describes itself as a site for “thinking moms who don’t have time to think.” Nothing special that I haven’t seen on a dozen other mommy blogs out there, but I did find this “guess which celebrity mom is wearing that shoe” game a little weird. Who knew moms harbored “foot in show” fetishes?

4. Katie Couric is leaving CBS News early? I never watched her. Along with a lot of other people I hear.

5. The 50 Greatest Comedy Sketches of All Time.

6. Zombie Strippers.

Now that’s high-quality theatre.

More Links

1. I’m sorry Barack, but visiting your mom in Pakistan while on spring break is not foreign policy experience.

2. I hate to complain, but this seems more a money making scheme than a movement.

3. Schlitz beer is going back to their original recipe. Well, it couldn’t possibly be worse than the current recipe.

4. Democrats determined to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.

5. Speaking of the war, the country remains split on the surge in Iraq. Along party lines. Surprise, surprise.

6. Then again these are the people who don’t believe we are making progress, so what can you expect: (Hat-tip to Groovy.)

7. Never trust a puppy.

He he, you got Rick Rolled.

Everything Blends (Except Chuck Norris)

I’m F*#king Obama

This is hilarious, but unless you are familiar with the following two videos you will be lost.  Soooo, watch the second video, then the third one, and then the one on top to get the joke. If you are familiar with the whole thing, just watch the first video.  Obviously, it is quite vulgar, so if that bothers you skip this post.

Sweet

I just bought tickets to see the Kids in the Hall at the Ryman Auditorium in Nashville on May 21st. 

Bring Your Daughter To War Day

BTW, military people will find this amusing.  It’s the same kind of humor that homicide detectives, emergency room personnel, and so forth use to keep their spirits up. 

Hat-tip to Op For.