This is such new age nonsense. There is no way that a normal, healthy man can cuddle with a woman, much less a lot of women, without getting a boner. Unless she is a woofer, that is, and even then sometimes certain parts take on a mind of their own. And while lesbians might be able to cuddle without any sexualization – bra and panty tickle-fights aside – I don’t think many gay guys are going to be cuddling without some poking going on either.
In the 70s they called these things orgies, but they were more interesting because the people were naked.
Hat-tip to Michelle Malkin who notes that no one seems to be growing-up anymore.
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I’m the Cuddle Party facilitator in the CBS3 news piece. I’m glad that it is raising conversation, however, I’m sure that before anyone makes statements, they would really want to be informed about what is true and what is just imagination gone wild:)
1. p.j.’s really do stay on the whole time. It’s my job to make sure they do:)
2. Cuddle parties are not just about getting your cuddle on. What it really is, is a 3 1/2 workshop that helps people say yes to what they want in life, no to what they don’t want, being open to changing their minds along the way in every interaction. It is a workshop that teaches portable relationship skills, Is there anyone out there who wouldn’t want healthier and more loving relationships with everyone in their lives?
2. It is NOT an orgy. How sad (and maybe this is why CP is so valuable) that some minds go in that direction whenever certain types of touching are mentioned. And yet, learning the skills that can be gleaned from a CP can absolutely be put to use in sexual relationships in people’s daily lives.
3.Those who attend come from all walks of life, all socio-economic backgrounds, all ages (adults), all physical appearances, all relationship status. If you think about coming to a CP to ‘hook up’, you may be missing the whole point of it. And yes, relationships have begun when people meet there.
4.Arousal does happen. As adults, we don’t always have to act on that feeling in the moment. That issue is addressed during the Welcome Circle which creates the safe space for the remainder of the workshop to continue and allows people who may have entered the workshop as strangers to leave feeling connected and having made new friends.
5. The fee for the event breaks down to $11.43 an hour. Although it is not therapy, it does have therapeutic value. Can you really put a price on healthier relationships, increased self esteem, improved body image, nurturing touch, creating community, getting to know more about yourself?
6. The training as a certified facilitator ( I am one of 41 world wide at the time of this posting), involves a weekend training, called Foundations of Facilitation (not only for this workshop, but teaches ways to be a powerful facilitator of any work that people choose to do), as well as 6 months of supervision, certification (what I called training wheel) parties at which the attendees complete evaluations that are handed in to REiD Mihalko who is the co-founder of CP, weekly teleconferences, and ongoing support from the training team and other facilitators.
7. We live in cultures in which touch is either limited (especially for those who live alone or work in low touch environments), violent (there are many for whom touch was/is abusive) or sexual. At CP, it is none of the above. CP is about helping to create a touch-positive environment. Studies show that people fail to thrive when missing nurturing touch. I am also a social worker in a psychiatric hospital and so many of my patients are lacking that experience which I am convinced, contributes to their illnesses.
8. No one has to cuddle or touch anyone at a CP. It is totally optional. Before anyone touches anyone else (including friends, partners, spouses), they must ask and get a verbal yes before proceeding.
9. Even with all of this information I am sharing, the best way to REALLY KNOW, is to attend a CP. Then and only then, can you speak with any authority on this subject:)
Thanks for your willingness to learn more…
Edie Weinstein-Moser”
I appreciate the information and your sense of humor in responding to my blog post, which was meant in humor of course. I also appreciate you admitting that arousal does occur now and again, since as you said, it is only human nature.
Still, I don’t see much different here from a million other group self-help sessions or from a more traditional group setting such as a church. Except for the cuddling in pjs, that is.
But all that said, to each his or her own. Some people need this kind of interaction, even if it means they have to pay for it (I will hold back on a joke here), and I wish them well.
Thanks for your intelligent response. Many who post blog comments all over the net are operating from a 2nd grade mentality, rather than that of adults with opinions about things that have taken the time to learn about subjects on which they are offering opinions.
What differentiates CP (in my experience) from other transformational workshops, and I have taken many over the years, both to enrich myself professionally as a therapist and personally, is that it touches (no pun intended) on EVERY aspect of life and relationships. Each time I facilitate, I learn something about myself and the ways I interact in the world. A. It addresses so many important life issues. I also tell those who attend that the workshop begins the minute they commit to attending and it doesn’t end at the end of the event…the lessons continue for people. I have received feedback from participants, many who attend over and over, not because they need to, but because they choose to, that they have experienced healing and growth and so many levels.
If ‘growing up’ means not being playful and emotionally intimate, keeping physical distance from my fellow travelers, then I vote with Peter Pan:) I consider myself a mature and responsible adult who has not forgotten the importance of healthy play.
And it is not for everyone, but that is the beauty of CP…you are free to be at choice in all areas of life and about attending.
Blessings,
Edie