The Debate On Spanking (As If There Is One)

Did you watch the Republican debate last night?  I did.  And it was really the first one I have seen almost all the way through.   My thoughts?

I like Romney.  He looks great and sounds smart and driven and very much the conservative in the Reagan way. 

All good things.

I don’t like McCain.  He is just mean.  His comment that he was a leader for patriotism not for profit (a slam to Romney being a businessman) is despicable.  I respect his service, but to think that being a successful business person in America is somehow less than being a politician or a military member is just nonsense, and you know how I feel about the military.

I also don’t like his twisting of Romney’s quotes on the Iraq war. 

He is without a doubt the worst of the GOP contenders in my opinion, far behind Fred, Romney, and Rudy (two of which are gone, I know).

Unfortunately, he is the best choice to beat Hillary or Obama.

So here’s my dilemma.  Hope Romney wins and see a likely loss in November or hope McCain wins and see a possible win against Obama and a sure win against Hillary.

Of course, I would rather have McCain than Hillary or Obama.  Hillary is just an evil person in my opinion, and the thought of her as President for the next four years (I don’t think she would last eight) makes me sick to my stomach.  So McCain is the obvious choice, as little as I like and respect him.

And Obama.  Not much better.  Here’s the thing with him by the way.  I keep hearing people say that they “don’t like his policies” but that he “inspires” people.

What the hell does that mean?

He inspires people?  To do what? Help him enact polices that you don’t like? 

You are going to vote for a guy who is inspirational - which basically means he gives a good speech by the way - even though you aren’t all that happy with higher taxes or national health care or a weaker military?

That is just crazy talk.

Seriously.  Crazy.

But enough of this politics stuff.

Today is Minnie Driver’s 38th birthday.  Happy Birthday to her.  Thirty-eight is such a wonderful age for a woman.  Right in that very spankable age range.  And Minnie scores very high on the Spank-O-Meter.

So, just in case Minnie is a reader I am volunteering to give her 38 birthday wacks.

Someone should do it, so why not me?

I’m just that kind of guy.

You know.  The selfless, giving type.

“The Sound” (Or “Harry And Lloyd Go To Dinner”)

So last night a buddy and I decide to go grab a quick bite to eat.  We’re both staying in the same hotel but he’s all the way on the other side of the building so I drive my car around to pick him up.  As he gets in the car I notice this loud sound which is kind of like a combination electrical circuit noise and a siren.  Imagine standing under a high-powered electrical tower with a tornado siren pointing down at you.  Like that.

Now I think it is coming from my car radio so I turn it off, but it doesn’t stop.  So then I get worried thinking it is something in my car’s electrical system and I turn off the car hoping it stops.

It doesn’t. 

At this point he tells me he heard it when he stepped out of the room (his door is on the outside so he stepped out and quickly into my car) and we both roll down the windows to see if we can hear it outside.  We do, and after listening to it for a moment or two we mutually decide it must be some far-off storm warning siren or something and we head on to the restaurant. 

Now on the short ride there, we notice that it is louder with the windows up than with them down.  This is puzzling, but we explain it away figuring that it must be some vibration off the windows that makes it louder when it is closed.

We laugh about the sound, commenting that it is a siren or aliens or something equally weird and I note that it must be something everyone in the area is used to because no one walking down the street seems to be the least bit curious or disturbed by it.

So we arrive at the restaurant and go inside, placing our orders and all the while listening to the sound as we wait for our food.  Again, no one else seems to be bothered by it (or even aware of it) which only makes the whole thing seem more weird.

We eat and talk, mostly about sports and the upcoming elections, but also about the mysterious sound and how it is not as strong inside as it was outside or in my car.

Then, after we eat, we get back in my car and again the sound is very loud so we discuss it all the way back to the hotel, wondering what the hell it is.

Then we get out and meet another guy we know and talk to him a bit in the parking lot.  We mention the sound and he says he hears it too which makes us both feel better because we are beginning to think we are crazy.  Still, we don’t know what it is or where it is coming from which is driving us towards crazy even if we aren’t there yet.

So we talk a bit, make jokes about the sound, and one of the last things I say before I leave to go to my room is how it appears to be louder when I am standing next to my friend (the one I ate dinner with).  He laughs and denies making the sound and I leave.

So about 10 minutes later I am settling down in my room when he calls me and tells me he pulled his cell phone out of it’s case and discovered it was making the noise.  He opened the phone and it stopped. 

We both laughed.

But man was that weird.

On The Road Once Again

I’m on the road once again and gone all this week for training.  I should be able to post in the evenings but we shall see.  See ya later.

Amy Winehouse Should Be Arrested

Not for using illegal drugs.  No, she should be arrested for destroying one burning-hot brunette body. 

A sin probably.  Definitely a crying shame. 

Oh yeah, the tattoos suck too.

It’s Good To Be The King

I’m in Atlanta.  In my hotel room.  Bored and just sort of vegging out with the TV and the Internet.  I just ordered a pizza from Papa John’s since I am in an area of town I don’t know well and I don’t feel like eating another burger from a fast food place or go eat at sit-down place by myself.  I won’t eat it all, but I have a fridge and microwave in the room so maybe it will be tomorrow night’s dinner as well. 

The drive down was uneventful, but busier than I have seen it in a long time.  I hate driving on the Interstate.  And it is all because of 18-wheel trucks.  What should be enjoyable driving on decent four-lane wide open roads is always painful because of too many overweight and poorly maintained trucks.

I hate truckers.

Oh yes, I know some of you might be truckers.  Or you might be married to a trucker.  Or a trucker is your dad or brother or sister or cousin, but none of that changes the fact that I hate them.  They may be great dads, brothers, husbands, wives, cousins, and so on, but as truckers they suck.

They make driving worse than visiting the dentist.

For gum surgery.

And yeah, I know they keep America moving and supplied with disposable diapers, Wonder Bras, and plastic sporks, but frankly I don’t give a rat’s tush.

I say bring back the railroads.  Build new ones. Improve the old ones.  And hire all those out of work long-haul truckers as brakemen or conductors or file clerks.  Anything but truckers.

And you aren’t going to change my mind about it either.  I don’t care if they keep America in canned goods.  I don’t care if they are good people outside of those trucks.

THEY MAKE MY DAMN DRIVE MISERABLE BECAUSE THEY:

-  Drive too fast when they should be going slower.  What maniac drives an 18-wheel truck 85 miles per hour in the pouring rain? 

- They drive too slow when they don’t need to.  And always . . . always . . . in the left lane.  Up a fricken hill.  While passing another truck that is going 1/2 mile an hour slower than they are so it takes several miles for them to do so. 

-  When you are passing them on the left side they suddenly veer out in the left lane to pass someone in front of them and force you to slam on your brakes.  Then they take ten minutes to pass that person while you sit in the coffee that splashed all over you and your seat.

- The drive in the left lane for miles and miles trying to “pass” someone in the right lane, when in fact they aren’t even near them.  So cars sit behind them thinking they can’t pass because there must be a long line of traffic when, in fact, there is nothing but this one moronic trucker blocking the lane and giggling at the little joke he is playing.

-  Their crappy used tires litter the road and cause all sorts of dangerous swerving and damage to cars.

Anyway, that is why I hate them.  And if you ask me how much I hate them I will say, “With the intensity of the sun” or something like that.

Just ask loving wife.  She knows.  She rides with me sometimes. 

Now don’t try to change my mind.  Don’t comment and give me all the reasons they are good people and why we need them.

I don’t care.

If I were King they would be gone. 

Oh, and all women would have big hooters and wear low-cut tops and I would get to squeeze and kiss them like Mel Brooks in The History of the World Part 1.

Because I hear that it’s good to be the King.

A Pre-Travel Post

I’m traveling to Atlanta today, but should be there early enough to sit back in my hotel room and blog a bit. Anyway, to hold you over here are some things that caught my eye:

1)  I am a bit annoyed at Fred for dropping-out after running a half-ass campaign.  I still like him, but damn if he wasn’t like some hot gal on a date who teases you to death and then says goodnight with only a kiss on the cheek.  And after I bought him dinner, too.  Sigh.  Eh, maybe he will take a VP slot?  

2)  I am enjoying the spectacle of the Dems tearing each other apart.  The Clintons will do anything to get Hillary elected - anything - and it will be fun to see if Obama can stand up to them.

3)  It’s too bad about Heath Ledger.  I liked him in A Knight’s Tale.  He was a pretty good actor and seemed sane enough by Hollywood standards.  I don’t like that they keep referring to him as that “Brokeback” actor though since he did other good work. I guess that is just because I thought that film sucked.  Anyway, sad.

 4)  Yeah, everyone sneaking across our southern border is just a decent, hardworking person looking for work.  NOT!  You want my vote, promise you will close the borders, dammit.

5)  Chuck Norris, a big Huckabee supporter, called John McCain too old to be President.  I like Chuck Norris, but he needs to shut the hell up.  John McCain is a fricken war hero. Norris, tough as he is - and he is very tough no doubt - is just a celebrity.   I am not a big McCain fan, but Norris was an idiot to say this. 

6)   I had some personal experience with the Stasi back in the late 1980s when I was stationed in then West Germany. Good times.

Cloverfield Shakes You Up

I just returned from seeing Cloverfield with my two oldest sons - 22 and 18 years old respectively - and I would give it maybe two and a half stars (out of four).   I might have given it three or even three and a half had it not been for the shaky camerawork that gave me a sick headache like you get from riding the spinning teacup ride.  

My sons liked it despite the rollercoaster feel, saying that it only added to the realism of the movie - something I didn’t think needed adding too since it is about a Godzilla-type monster attacking New York City.  It’s science fiction for heaven’s sake.

Plus, the shaky-cam didn’t bother them as much which I think is an age thing - the older you get the less you like spinning like a top. 

As to the story - it’s good - but not great because it leaves a little too much out since it is told from such a limited point of view.   Of course, that’s what they were going for, but I have to say it just leaves me wanting a bit.   I just like things wrapped up neatly I guess.

My final verdict?  Not a mammoth waste of time and decent Coke and popcorn fare.  Assuming you can keep it down.

Of Puppies, Politics, And Leaky Faucets

I’ve been busy this weekend so not much time for posting.  There is a mildly interesting conversation going on in the comments of my Global Warming post (a few posts down), but other than that I haven’t found a thing worth talking about.

Oh yeah, McCain took South Carolina.  Eh.  As long as that damn Huckabee didn’t win I guess it was a good thing.

I’m hoping for a McCain-Thompson ticket right now.  I could live with that.  

We took Lucy to her first puppy obedience class last night and it went well.  The good news is that most of what we were doing was the right thing to be doing so that was good, but there is a lot of work to be done.  It was funny because she was the belle of the ball at the pet store.  Everyone had to pet her and all the other dogs were incredibly jealous of course.

I have to attempt to repair a leaking faucet today.  I tried to find the brunette plumber shown above but she doesn’t work on holidays I guess so I am on my own.

Wish me luck.

UPDATE:  Loving wife fixed the faucet - with the help of the guy from Lowes.  Once again I am emasculated by some minimum wage guy wearing a red vest.  Oh, and my wife.

 Sigh.

Five Months Of My Life Gone

This starts out slow but gets pretty damn funny. Especially if you are a Manning fan - Eli or Peyton. I think Ginger will like it too, Cowboy fan that she is.

Caution dirty language in subtitles and, of course, Hitler.

UPDATE:  They pulled the video.  I hate it when they do that.

Recruiting Commercials (And More)

At the risk of building up Viper’s ego even more, I really like this commercial .  For some reason I can’t get it to link though which is really pissing me off.  Click over to see it though as it is really great. You can read all about it and more here. It’s worth the time.  Watch it more than once because I swear it gets better every time.

It’s about as good as this commerical about my old agency is bad. And it’s really bad - like 1970s porn movie bad.  Still, it does cover what they do pretty well. 

Although I do think this US Air Force commercial is very nearly as good as the Marine one.

The thing about these two recruiting commercials - the Marine one at the top and the Air Force one just above - is that they are simply true.  They are not exaggerations or fabrications like so much of what we see on TV and in the movies these days.  They are not political statements that have the weight of a feather in the wind. 

They are fact. As real the ground beneath your feet and the sky above your head.

These brave men and women have been protecting our nation since its beginning and they will continue to protect us as long as we exist.  Let us not forget we owe them everything.

Okay, end of lecture.

Here’s an interesting video of an AFOSI protective detail being ambushed in Iraq.  The chase car is taking the video and you can see it move around to cover the VIP car in the middle after the attack. 

Another video of AFOSI guys shooting with Aussies. Pretty cool.

And a news story on what AFOSI is doing in Iraq.  Very cool. I know it probably doesn’t make sense to most people but I wish I was there with them.

Ten Reasons I Don’t Buy Into The Global Warming Hype

Top Ten Science Based Predictions That Didn’t Come True.

10. “The earth’s crust does not move”- 19th through early 20th century accepted geological science. See Plate Tectonics

9. “The bomb will never go off. I speak as an expert in explosives.” — Admiral William Leahy, U.S. Atomic Bomb Project

8. “That virus is a pussycat.” — Dr. Peter Duesberg, molecular-biology professor at U.C. Berkeley, on HIV, 1988

7. “I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.” — Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943

6. “Radio has no future. Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible. X-rays will prove to be a hoax.” — William Thomson, Lord Kelvin, British scientist, 1899.

5. “There is not the slightest indication that nuclear energy will ever be obtainable. It would mean that the atom would have to be shattered at will.” — Albert Einstein, 1932

4. “Space travel is bunk.” — Sir Harold Spencer Jones, Astronomer Royal of the UK, 1957 (two weeks later Sputnik orbited the Earth).

3. “If I had thought about it, I wouldn’t have done the experiment. The literature was full of examples that said you can’t do this.” — Spencer Silver on the work that led to the unique adhesives for 3-M “Post-It” Notepads.

2. “Stomach ulcers are caused by stress” — accepted medical diagnosis, until Dr. Marshall proved that H. pylori caused gastric inflammation by deliberately infecting himself with the bacterium.

1. “Telltale signs are everywhere —from the unexpected persistence and thickness of pack ice in the waters around Iceland to the southward migration of a warmth-loving creature like the armadillo from the Midwest. Since the 1940s the mean global temperature has dropped about 2.7° F.” — Climatologist George J. Kukla of Columbia University in Time Magazine’s June 24th, 1975 article Another Ice Age?

Plus there is that flying car lie that I will never forgive these “experts.” 

Sorry

I’ve been really, really busy.  Will blog some later.

There Are Some Good Celebs

Oh a quick post before I go.  Johnny Depp is one of my favorite actors.  Extremely talented. In fact, I think he may be one of the best actors working today.  And now I find out he is also a really nice guy.

Johnny Depp secretly visited Great Ormond Street Hospital yesterday to donate £1 million of his own money to thank staff for saving his daughter’s life.

He arrived unexpectedly at the London children’s hospital where eight-year-old Lily-Rose was treated last year when her kidneys failed.

Last week he invited five Great Ormond Street doctors and nurses to the party for the London premiere of his film Sweeney Todd.

And on November 29, unknown to the public, Depp spent four hours at the hospital telling bedtime stories to patients dressed as Captain Jack Sparrow after having his Pirates Of The Caribbean costume flown over from Los Angeles.

While donating the money is fantastic, and inviting the doctors and nurses over to a party is great, I swear his reading stories to sick kids while in character as Jack Sparrow is just about the coolest thing I have ever heard.

Hat-tip to Blowing Smoke.

Quick Post

I’m traveling today so not much posting time.

Last night with Lucy was much better than the night before, thank goodness, and we think we may have turned a corner.  What we did was just put her in our bedroom instead of the kitchen and it did the trick. We had discussed doing it earlier, but didn’t realize how much difference it would make.  It does.

The thing is we don’t know if we want her in there from now on - like forever - so once she gets good and trained we may try to slowly move her back into the kitchen at night (she is in there during the day and she is fine).

Anyway, that’s the news from the Lucy front. Talk at ya later.

Here’s Wishing

I am writing this short piece just so it is on record that I predicted that Fred Thompson would win the 2008 election.

From his lips to God’s - and the electorate’s - ears.